Eating out of the van full time is far more achievable than I would have believed before actually doing it. Trust me when I say that I honestly don’t need to - in fact, I refuse to - compromise on taste. 


Cynicism sadly prevails in today's world, advocacy that basically the Earth is already fucked and there’s nothing anyone can do to fix the big problemsYou can pretty much use that attitude to justify any sin. The irony is frightening as this group of people is literally the only obstacle preventing real change from happening

"Glue for Dinner"

First thing I did was google “what is gelatin”. I encourage you to do the same. Nay, I dare you.

Not only is it made from animal offcuts, but how on earth the same thing can be used in food as well as photographic processes and glue absolutely astounds me. And google was being nice about it too. I found out it’s also used in firearms testing/ballistics, hair gel, cosmetic creams, printer ink, sandpaper, match heads and fucking paintballs (not sure why but that last one really got to me). 

CAUTION: Opinionated Cynic may be present

Environmentalism is as in vogue as its ever been. Leo has broken the Hollywood mould and gone all in with his new climate change doco, Elon Musk is an absolute baller and activewear nature-grams dominate the Insty feed. Yet somehow, so many people I see refuse to acknowledge their diet as a critical point where they could make a difference. 


What I did instead was open a fairly rancid can of psychological worms, concluding in a strengthening of my confusion, and providing some fresh disillusion about the reality of producing enough food for a population that’s too big for it’s habitat.


Ideally I’ll discover that my neighbour is a covert farmer with a completely green, environmentally offset property a half hour’s drive away where I’ll be able to get chicken, eggs and dairy year-round. I anticipate a much more sober reality. 

"Seven Days Deep"

Turns out the numbers were a fraction too small for my awkward plan of hiding newfound veganism. Not being hungry unfortunately wasn’t enough of an excuse for a couple of my closest friends, who watched me decline the waiter his offer of some fucking A-grade crispy pork belly. These people know me well enough to be familiar with my affinity for pork belly, and so immediately (and loudly) enquired why I wasn’t eating it.

Fifty Shades of Vegan

It was like doing washing in Autumn, and leaving washing out on the line for a few days because the forecast looks ok. Clouds start rolling in, but grey skies don’t stop me running the gauntlet anyway - because the world isn’t that mean, right? - and I assume I’ll get away with not having to get my shit together and actually go outside to bring my clothes indoors. Of course then the heavens open and it starts pissing down. Suddenly Rolls is frantic, scrambling, sprinting outside to answer for his own naivety.